LOOKING BACK TO WHERE IM FROM!! part III

26th January 2009
The rain
Beautiful isn’t it?
It pours
It exhilarates
It lets you breathe in the rich earth,
Pure earth, unaltered, unstained. Pure.
With it comes new beggnnings.
It washes away the old.
Washes away the pain…the guilt. All gone.
I crave the rain.
Please wash my pain away.
I don’t care where, just take it all.
Leave nothing behind.
I want to begin.
I need a clean start.
But I cant. This pain it bogs me down.
Pinning me down, till I cant move.
…so rain, please come,
Come wash, come cleanse this poor soul.
This poor broken soul.
Come mend what love has broken…

LOOKING BACK WHERE IM FROM!! part II

2009

My eyes turn red,

They swell up with tears.

My breathing slows,

My breathe is choked.

Im suffocating, slowly.

For a moment, I believe I don’t need air.

My heart…shatters, like a mirror, to a thousand pieces, Broken

For a moment, the world is meaningless.

It holds no value any more.

I am alone.

All alone.

Just as I close my eyes,

Just as I reside to my fate…

I realize, I might be alone, I might be hurt but

This is not the end…

It is not my time…

I gasp…fighting to live,

Fighting to see to see the light behind the all haze.

LOOKING BACK FROM WHERE IM FROM!

4^th June 2009

In bed, yes my bed.

Tired, sleepy but still at this.

My therapy. My shrink, I call it.

My friend…

Dear friend, we have been together for a while now.

I have told things.

Things I kept deep.

 Things I have told no one else.

In a way I’d hoped we would have figured this out,

I Had hoped together we would Make the pain go away

And yet here I am again.

Down.

Depressed…well not really.

Just Sad.

What do I have to make it stop.

Is there anything that can be done?

Or should I RESIDE TO MY SAD FATE.

Accept it as a way of life.

Accept that I will never be happy.