This Part of my life is called Catching a break

I broke my phone screen earlier today. It was fine one minute then it wasn’t in the next. I feel like life is a lot like that screen. A lot can change in a split second. We are here one minute then we’re not in the next. I was working in Nairobi one minute then I was got posted to work in Voi. Granted its been a whole month of slowly relocating, but I remember the moments vividly, the craziness that was my last day, my decision not to go back, staying home for a couple of weeks, reporting day, and finally coming down to start working. 

I hated the weekday mornings in Nairobi. They forced me to be in full zombie autopilot mode. Later in the evening, depending on what time I left work, more zombie mode. With just enough energy to get me home. But here things are so different. I work 10 minutes away from the house. My house. Feels a lot more like my house, not an overpriced place I lay my head for a few hours every day. Not my parents home, not my boyfriend/husband’s home, not our home, but all mine. I feel like I just went to zombie mode, and just trying to get through my days alive, to feeling alive. I feel a lot more awake, aware, in control even. I hope you noticed, I'm feeling more and I am acknowledging how I am feeling. 

Its hot down here. Really hot. And heat comes and goes in waves. Which has brought its own interesting perk, nudity. Do I call it solitary nudity, mostly out of necessity but I have to admit I’m enjoying it. Im getting more comfortable in my own skin. I have to look at more of it anywhere. But im finally writing. Approximately a month after my great move. I’ve been filling up my evenings with tv shows and movies. To help the night go along faster. I have been in disbelief about being here. After things going horribly wrong for a while, my brain still has its guard up. Like this could be gone in a second and I'll be on the next bus back to my parents house. So I have been avoiding exhaling. But thing about breathing is you have to let up the air, your body just wont let you do anything else. So slowly I've been breathing out. 

Really wanted to hit the gym, to maintain the fast pace that I am used to. But the gym is under-equipped and there is the problem with small towns, leery men. Lots and lots of leery men. So this has left me with a lot of freetime in my house. So I need another project. But until then  I am enjoying the break.